One of the key ingredient in implementing lasting change in anything, is confidence. Confidence stems from 2 key places:
- knowing who you are and
- having knowledge/skills/education about your particular line of work or zone of genius.
So what do I mean by knowing who you are? This can seem like a redundant point, but being clear about who you are is key in your being confident and ultimately successful.
Knowing who you are refers to having clear boundaries for yourself and others, your ability to make decisions and choices for yourself without allowing what others think to stop you, and your willingness to share an opinion or thought, especially when it differs from the majority.
It’s really about knowing what is true for you and giving it a voice.
The other aspect refers to having (or acquiring) the necessary expertise so you are accomplished in your chosen field. Education coupled with knowing who you are develops confidence.
So what do you do if you have the education but lack the confidence to go after what you want?
You build it. Confidence is a skill like anything else and anyone can develop it.
There are several steps to building confidence but the main one is repetition. Like anything new, to develop it you must practice it. Repetition is key.
This is where most of us get caught because self confidence is an inside job. Say you are learning to play piano. Practicing the piano is easy – you just sit down at a piano and practice. How do you practice confidence?
- Create a zero tolerance policy for negative self talk. Pay attention to how you speak to yourself, noticing how much negative self talk you engage in. Make a pact to only speak to yourself with love and respect. And don’t break it!
- Create a positive mantra for and put it in several places so you see it every day. Repeat it each morning out loud before getting out of bed and again before sleeping. Put it on a sticky note in your car, on your bathroom mirror and say it often.
- Avoid negativity of any kind (especially complaining). Surround yourself only with people that believe in you and provide positive, helpful feedback.
- Write a letter to yourself when you are feeling happy and confident. Praise yourself for your accomplishments, goals and what you’ve created so far, in your life. Pull it out and read it when you are feeling down and less than confident to remind yourself of your strengths, abilities and who you are.
- Make time to learn about you: what are your preferences, likes and dislikes? Honour them.
Confidence tells other people how you feel about yourself. It demonstrates leadership, promotes positive thinking in yourself and others and it attracts people to you.
It is directly linked to your faith in yourself and it is critical to your success . If you don’t believe in you, no one else will either.
Learn to tune out the critics on the outside but more importantly, tune out your own inner critic. Know who you are and grow your confidence.
It is key to living the live you’re here to live.