How many times have you had the best of intentions to do something; complete a project, return a phone call, meet a deadline? Only to have something or someone catch your attention, and bam! Your focus is redirected and you’ve been de-railed.
Completing something, reaching a goal, or meeting a deadline takes focus and discipline. It also takes understanding. Understanding that even though it seems that the world occurs through our 5 senses, the truth is, it doesn’t. The world, (our perception of it), actually occurs through the filter of our 5 senses.
Our brain receives information via our senses, matches it up with belief’s and scans our memory for a similar situation so it can tell you how to respond.
So what’s this got to do with fear? Everything!
Your brain is hardwired to keep you safe. That’s it’s primary role and it is an expert fear detector. In our day to day life, most of our fear is from an internal source (our thinking) rather than an actual physical threat. The problem is our brain doesn’t know the difference so it still works to keep you safe, in subtle but powerful ways.
That’s why we load the dishwasher instead of making the phone call, walk the dog instead of responding to the email or end up on Facebook instead of writing the article.
It’s called resistance, but it’s really just another name for fear.
Everyone has fear. And most of it is based on some version of not being good enough; fear of not being approved of or accepted. When your brain registers apprehension or fear about anything, it calls in reinforcements to “save” you, which is where resistance comes in. But what your brain doesn’t know is that your spirit, your soul, knows better. It knows the difference between fearing for your life and moving through a perceived fear, and into your greatest life.
The degree to which you are successful is directly proportionate to the degree in which you allow your desire to be greater than your fear. Even if its only a fraction greater.
The only difference between you and someone you see as successful, is that their desire was slightly larger than their fear. They attached themselves or focused on the desire, not the fear.
There isn’t any magic formula that makes fear disappear. But understanding it goes a long way in managing it. If you do not learn to manage your fear it will manage you. Here are a few things that I’ve found helpful:
- stop pretending you aren’t afraid and ask yourself: what am I resisting? Or why am I resisting doing X?
- start from where you are; keep your focus in the present; what is the next step?
- consider what you are getting out of being resistant and let it go
- keep visible reminders of what fear really is: False Evidence Appearing Real.
- work to eliminate “can’t and “don’t” from your vocabulary. Become aware when you are using these words and immediately change them to “can” and “will” or “do”.
Chunk it down into manageable pieces ~ what’s one thing you can do differently today? Can you replace a negative thought with a positive one? Do that – do what is before you, in this moment.
Fear or some version of it is the only thing between where you are and where you desire to be. Fear isn’t going anywhere. It’s a part of life, but the amount of space it takes up in your life is entirely up to you.
Master fear and you will master your life.