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Find Out How To Gain The Clarity You Need

We’ve all been there, haven’t we? In fact I’ve been there just as recently as a few days ago. Again…

The idea/plan/direction you thought you were certain about suddenly doesn’t look quite so certain. You start to second guess yourself, wonder if you’ve missed something, maybe there’s a better/easier/faster way. You decide you should investigate other options or get another opinion and BAM! Your clarity and certainty is gone and once again you’re looking at the door of confusion. And it’s locked up tight.

Do you ever wonder, how does this happen, and why can’t I seem to just make a decision and stick with it?

Well, if you’re an entrepreneur, you likely already know you suffer (to a greater or lesser degree) with a little condition known as Shiny Object Syndrome.

There are 2 ways this condition affects us. The first is with actual visual distractions and the second and more threatening way is with our own thoughts and it is these thoughts that land us in front of the closed door of confusion.

I learned recently that confusion is an illusion created by the brain (ego) to keep us exactly where we are, and when we respond with feelings of confusion, frustration and anger, it has accomplished its job.

We cannot move forward while confused, frustrated or angry.

As soon as we step away from those negative feelings and give ourselves permission to be in the space of I don’t know, there is an instant opening for something else. And that something else is where our certainty and clarity lives.

Saying it’s an illusion in no way implies what we feel isn’t real. It’s very real! But consider what an illusion is. According to Wikipedia, “illusions are based on general assumptions the brain makes during perception.”

When your brain perceives the thought I’m confused/angry/frustrated and it’s then supported by you actually feeling confused/angry/frustrated (because our thoughts create our feelings) you have effectively bought into the illusion.

It isn’t real. It’s just a thought. And when you disengage the emotions, by directing your focus/thoughts to something else, the illusion disappears and reality returns. And the reality is that you have all the answers for your life inside of you all the time.

Going toe to toe with the door of confusion is a good thing! Welcome it and allow yourself to be there, because on the other side of the door lies your breakthrough; your clarity and your understanding. It’s like your very own self-induced test to find out just how badly you want to break free and move forward.

Feeling confused and frustrated is just that. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong.

I had been stuck in something is wrong; it shouldn’t be like this, why can’t I get this? Going round and round with these thoughts, there was no opening for anything else.

The moment I stopped fighting it, gave myself permission to be where I was, the frustration and anger faded away. I woke up the next morning very clear and with the answer. And you know what? It was the original answer I’d come up with months ago, but didn’t trust.

Being face to face with the door of confusion, no matter how many times you find yourself there, is perfect because you are at the precipice of your next breakthrough. The next big step in your life.

And that is actually very exciting and inspiring.



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The 5 Key Steps To Manifesting What You Desire

Manifesting is the result of a combination of mind set (what you think about) and action (what you do).

To be effective we must learn the difference between doing what we can with what we have, and what we can delegate to the Universe/God/Source/Consciousness ~ whatever term you use.

The difference between the two is important because it’s tempting to fall into one of two camps: trying to do everything yourself and burn out, or you do nothing, leaving everything up to metaphysical chance, and wonder why your life isn’t changing.



In my experience, I have found there are 5 key steps to manifesting.

  • Get clear. Statistics indicate that less than 1% of us actually know what we want. We know a whole lot about what we don’t want, but we tend to be disconnected from what we really do want or desire.
  • Think, act, speak and be about only what it is that you want. Use visualization to bring it to life See it so clearly you could reach out and touch it. Know what it’s going to cost and engage all your senses; are you on a trip? What are you wearing, what does the weather feel like, what kind of food are you eating, what sights are you seeing, who are you with etc. Use the visualization a few times a day (the more the better) and be aware of your language. Stay away from words like hope, if and maybe. Using the example of a trip, speak about it as if it’s already booked. When we get to…. we are going to see….. On my trip to……I will…..Make it non-negotiable.
  • Get support. Lets face it, changing our thinking takes dedication, persistence and massive awareness. Being supported means you have someone else in the process with you. It means being held to a higher level of accountability than you can hold yourself to, and it makes all the difference.
  • Hang out with people that have already done what you want to do. People that are up to big things in the world typically operate at a fairly high frequency. So if you know people that are planning trips, get together with them. Share stories and plans. It keeps the focus on what you want and helps keep you in the excitement.
  • Check in with yourself periodically for subconscious fear and self doubt. These 2 are very sneaky and can mess with your head before you know it! Prevent the surprise attack by going on the offensive. Asking yourself if you are fearful or have some doubt about your desire accomplishes 2 things; it brings awareness to how you are feeling (very important in the manifestation process) and it gives you advance notice if either of the two have snuck in so you can course correct right away.

The Difference Between Surrendering and Giving Up

This is it! You’ve decided 2015 is your year and you are going to change your life!

You’re doing the things successful people say you should; working with positive affirmations and mantra’s, setting aside quiet time each day to meditate and journal, directing you’re attention to what you want, working daily on your wealth consciousness. You’ve even written out your goals, de-cluttered your physical space and re-committed to your daily work outs. Excellent! Well done ~ you should be very proud of yourself.

Except that nothing is changing. So what do you do when you’re doing all the right stuff but not getting the results you want and expect?

I’ve learned is that the answer is 2 fold.

First, there is a time aspect and the best analogy I know for this is starting to work out, after a long hiatus. I’ll hit the gym 3 times a week for a few weeks (but feels like 3 months) do the workouts, drink the water and feel so committed, and yet be so disappointed that my body hasn’t changed the way I’d expected!

9e13fdb256701aca32e00cb0416395b7The physical results and my expectations are not in alignment with the reality of what it takes to build muscle and burn fat. And this is the point many of us throw up our hands in frustration and quit. Don’t quit!

Just because you can’t see the results, does not mean things are not changing.  It simply means you can’t see what’s happening beneath the surface.

Your eyes don’t have the ability to see how your heart and lungs are getting stronger, how muscle is building and fat is reducing. But if you keep doing it, by month 3 or 4, you will start to see a physical difference. It just takes time.

The second aspect is about control. Perceived control to be exact and giving it up, also known as surrendering. This concept was a struggle for me because I had surrendering collapsed or mixed up with, giving up. But they are two entirely different things.

 Surrender is about understanding and accepting that I don’t have all the answers. It’s about letting go of trying so hard to make something happen, and its about trusting a process that I can’t see and don’t fully understand, but know is in effect all the time.

I’m not talking about leaving your life to chance. I’m talking about energetically surrendering control of a situation, circumstance or event that you cannot affect with what you know.

If you aren’t seeing the results you’d expected, ask yourself if you’ve allowed enough time, and is there an aspect of this issue you could surrender or let go of energetically? This process actually attracts and invites resources, people and solutions that otherwise wouldn’t be on your radar. The key is being willing to surrender. Then step out of the way and allow the process to unfold.


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Practicing Discipline

Have you ever had the experience of knowing you should be doing something and yet you resist doing it?

Going to the gym for example ~ or doing some kind of exercise. You know you should be doing it, that you’ll feel better, you’ll have more energy, your clothes will fit better and you’ll sleep better. In fact you can’t think of a single reason to not exercise, and yet you don’t.

What’s up with that?

I recently wrote about goal setting and how if you aren’t connected to your “why”, the commitment to seeing your goals through is simply not there. This is part of it, but not all of it – for me at least.

The other part comes down to discipline. I’m sorry it isn’t deeper or sexier than this, but it isn’t.  It’s simply about discipline and being disciplined takes practice.

Lets face it – being successful at anything requires more than a commitment. It requires actual action, the doing of something, and that involves being disciplined. It’s one thing to say we’re committed to something but it’s an entirely different matter to have the discipline to consistently repeat a behaviour, even when we don’t feel like it ~ especially when we don’t feel like it. And it is the key. To everything.

So why is it, when we know we could benefit from a particular behavior, we resist doing it?

I wish I had the answer, but sadly, I don’t. Nor do I have any quick tips or tricks to help you be more disciplined, because being disciplined takes well, discipline.

But I do know this. When you really want something different for yourself, when staying the same is no longer an option, you will find a way. And that is at the heart of discipline.

I’m learning that being distracted, even at times being completely derailed is all a part of it. Yes, it helps to have systems in place to keep me focused and on track, but there are times when even these are not effective.

What gets me back in the game, the game of my life, is a decision. I again decide what I’m up for, available for and not available for and it starts with a question.

I ask myself what do I want my life to be for? Not the whole big picture, but for right now, in this moment? And when I remember that I can do anything, would I continue doing what I’m doing (or not doing as the case may be) or would I make a different choice?

Sometimes we simply forget who we are. We forget that this life, this miraculous gift that will never ever be repeated has enormous value and infinitesimal potential. You have enormous value and infinitesimal potential.

Your life is about you. This is it ~ no one is coming to save you, to coerce you, to cajole you, to convince you to do something different. At the end of the day there’s just you and the voice in your head. You must be the one to lead any and all self-saving expeditions and you must be the one to practice the art of discipline.

From that place, the motivation and energy to do the thing we know we should be doing, reveals itself. And we start anew.

You absolutely have within you, the ability to create and live the life you’ve imagined for yourself. And it is only ever one decision and a little discipline, away.




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Setting Up For A Successful Year

So here we are. First day of a brand new year. Have you made any New Year resolutions? Do you have any big plans for 2015 or are you more of fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kind of person?

For most of my life, that’s been me (flying by the seat of my pants). And while there are pro’s and con’s to both approaches, in the end for me, the con’s out weighed the pro’s in this approach.

The idea of setting goals always seemed like a good idea, but I’d always shy away from doing it. There was such a huge gap between where I wanted to be and where I actually was, that it all seemed overwhelming and unattainable. Until now.

Armed with the understanding that my life and everything in it, is a direct result of what I think about (where I put my attention) and how I live (the actions I take), I came up with a plan to help me create goals and support myself in further success this year. I’m sharing them with you here, and hope you find something that is of service to you as well.

  • FIRST: Get in touch with your desires ~ what you want. This is key and I can’t stress that enough. If you don’t know what you want, how will you know if you have it or not?
  • Make time. Goal setting takes some time, so give yourself that gift. Maybe an hour a day for 2 or 3 days, whatever inspires and works for you. Be as detailed and specific as you can.
  • Understand why you’ve chosen the goal you have. After knowing your desires, this is the next most important step. If you aren’t connected to your why, in a very short time this will cease being a goal, seem more like a good idea and then it will be dropped. Want proof? Just check any gym out in mid February. At the beginning of January they’re packed but by early to mid February the only people you’ll find there are the one’s who remain connected to why they are working out.
  • Start with the big picture and work backwards, creating categories. For example, I call my categories “houses”. I have my business house, my health house, personal, relationship etc. I focus on one at a time, getting the overall picture of what what I want to create in that house by the end of the year.
  • Chunk it down which also makes it less overwhelming and more attainable. Once you’re clear about the overall goal, next break it down into six months, then monthly, weekly and daily steps. Now calendar these steps! Meaning if a fitness goal requires you going to the gym 3 times a week, set up a recurring event in your calendar 3 times/week for the whole year, now. Start creating the new habit.
  • Get support. Going through the process of getting your actions steps will also reveal where you need help. Do you need to hire someone? Outsource something? Enroll in a program or otherwise further your education? Research that now and start the process, whatever it is.
  • Post your goals so you can see them and review. Every couple of months, take a close look and see if you’re on track. Perhaps something has changed, is taking longer, is complete or maybe no longer relevant. Make the adjustments and carry on.

Goal setting is important because if done correctly, it provides an effective way for you to stay committed and supported in creating the life you want. Consider that any successful person sets goals including high end athletes and business people in all fields. Why? Because they know without it they cannot maintain their success. Goals keeps them in touch with the big picture (their why) staying motivated (having specific action steps), helps keep their time and resources organized and dictates when and from whom they need support.

Here’s to your most successful year yet in all and every way that matters to you!